Super Mario 2

Mario Ojemudia committed to Michigan on
May 7, 2011 to play on the defensive line
and possibly to thwart King Koopa.

Mario Ojemudia is a lightning-quick defensive end and one of the best in the nation to play his position.  Had he committed to any other program, he might have been dubbed "Super Mario."

"Super" Mario Manningham
Ability to fly confirmed.

Unfortunately for Ojemudia, star wide receiver and current New York Giant Mario Manningham claimed that title for the Wolverines years ago; fortunately for Ojemudia, Super Mario 2 proved to be a far more dynamic experience than its predecessor...at least until you invested countless and irreplaceable hours of your childhood attempting to reach an end ruined by the regrettable discovery that the entire paper-thin plot was no more than Mario's stupid dream.  I blame you, Japan.

Super Mario 2, Mario Ojemudia
Ability to fly presumed.

Unlike the storyline to the successor title of the acclaimed video game, there are actual reasons to believe that the surmounting hype and high praise surrounding the 6'2'' version of Super Mario 2 is something more than a fleeting, transparent, worthless figment of the imagination.

On film, Mario looks absolutely devastating to offensive lines.  For what it's worth, he also looks rail-thin, like a Davion Rogers who has eaten a hamburger in his life.  Although he will inevitably sacrifice some speed for an additional 20-30 pounds of mass at the next level, he is explosive enough to remain productive and overcome some of the limitations of his smaller frame.

Despite questions about his size and eventual position, there is one nearly-universal truth supporting Ojemudia:  recruits taken nine months before national signing day are hand-selected from coaches' early wish lists.  If there is one thing Brady Hoke and Greg Mattison have learned from more than three collective decades coaching the defensive line, it's how to evaluate a defensive end.

Make no mistake, Super Mario 2 is no dream.

Meet Your Walk-ons: OT Erik Gunderson

Already met:  Tony Anderson

Erik Gunderson (#69) signs a helmet for
a fan searching for Michael Shaw.

First Impressions:

Pretending Not to Be Enormous:
Name:	Erik Gunderson
Class:	RS Sophomore
High School:	Milan High School, Milan  MI
Measurements:	6'8'', 298 lbs
Position:	Offensive tackle
If He Were an Animal:	Rhodesian Giraffe

Forward Progress:

Erik Gunderson may not boast the most remarkable development path, but he earns this site's second walk-on profile for two reasons:  (1) at six foot eight inches, he has the distinction of being the tallest player on the roster; and (2) he had to be profiled before he returns to his longship to plunder a mead hall in the heart of Nibelheim.

Gunderson graduated from Milan high school in 2009 where he received academic recognition as an Honor Roll student, further perpetuating the stereotype that offensive tackles tend to be the most intelligent player on the field.  Before you mutter something about "quarterbacks," take a look through Paul Zimmerman's The New Thinking Man's Guide to Pro Football.  It may be long and outdated, but not light on research.

In addition to playing football, Gunderson proved himself a diversified athlete by competing for Milan's swim team.  When you've finished contemplating a three hundred pound offensive lineman swimming competitively, you'll correctly conclude that the guy's a tremendous athlete.

Gunderson has yet to see the field during his brief career at Michigan.  Given that even high-recruited tackles struggle to see playing time during a red-shirt freshman year, his lack of production at the position means precisely nothing.

Outlook for 2011:

Although most red-shirt sophomore walk-on tackles should temper their expectations for playing time to the same degree that Michigan State alumni temper expectations for success, the Wolverines happen to be uncharacteristically thin on the offensive line in 2011.

For this reason, I have Gunderson penciled in as the third-string right tackle behind Mark Huyge and Michael Schofield for the upcoming season.  Gunderson had the opportunity to play right tackle on the second team offense during the Spring game, which can be attributed to missing 40% of the starting offensive line to injury.  As we all know from the frailty of David Molk's left foot and right ACL in 2009, injuries do happen during the season and Gunderson may see more playing time than he otherwise would (none) if Michigan had its traditional depth.

During the Spring game, Gunderson held down the right side of the line extremely well.  On the play that was perhaps the offensive highlight of the day, Gunderson helped erase Ken Wilkins to set up a 68 yard touchdown for Michael Cox.

Final prediction:  Gunderson sees his first career playing time during the third game of the season against Eastern Michigan.  After 2011, he should find himself in competition with Tony Posada to back up the heir apparent right tackle, Mike Schofield.

Mike Hart's Time Machine: Geographically International

Previously:  GE Building, 1931

May 6, 1984

This is not the photograph that became the face of the mid-1980s Afghan conflict.  It's the one taken three seconds earlier.

Describing Darius

If you've ever been involved in a relationship or studied a successful actor not named Bill Paxton, you've realized that mankind is capable of a wide and fantastic range of emotion.  Very seldom can a single event evoke as many of them at once as half a sentence from Darius Morris.

"I have decided to stay in the NBA Draft and pursue my dream of playing professional basketball."

Confusion.  With a looming NBA lockout, questions about his mid-range jump shot and left-handed proficiency, and modest if conflicted projections in the second round, there is ample reason to believe that Morris's long-term financial ambitions would be best served by another year as a Wolverine.

Love unrequited.  Morris had been building a bright future with Michigan.  Earlier this year, he professed emphatically that "we're all coming back," painting a portrait of a Morris-led 2012 squad.  Now his teammates and Michigan fans everywhere are left to play the role of the jilted lover as he chases an uncertain prospect and monetary gain.  Anger.  

Sadness.  His departure leaves a noticeable gap in the Michigan program.  A hole that will someday be plugged by recruit Trey Burke, but almost certainly not by next year.  An upcoming season of unchecked potential will now be relegated to the "under-construction" phase that has defined the program since Morris was in the second grade.  Despair.

Gratitude.  Darius bled maize and blue every day that he was with the program and elevated its prestige to renewed heights.  Hope.  Now another one of our own is poised to make the leap to professional basketball and few would decline to face the incredible opportunities that have blossomed before him.  Pride, envy.

Above all we see a kid with a wide smile and a dream; a lifelong goal that will become reality in just a few short weeks.  It couldn't happen to a more deserving person.  Joy.

With such a maelstrom of emotion competing in pivotal antagonism, there really is only one thing you can do.

Wish him the best of luck from the bottom of your heart.

Good luck, Darius.
Thank you for everything.

Jim Tressel Compliance Form Released

The sheet of paper that has caused more headaches for Jim Tressel than Maurice Clarett, Terrelle Pryor and Justin Bieber combined has been released.

NCAA officials were not amused by the gratuitous note in the margin.

Coaches who sign this form under the circumstances that everybody agreed existed when Tressel signed it tend to be fired.  His fate will hang in the balance until after an August hearing conducted by the NCAA.  And then until after the appeal.  And then probably through the civil suit.  And then possibly through the appeal of the civil suit, eventual remand and mistrial.

One thing is pretty much almost absolutely certain.  This mess should be behind Ohio State by the summer of 2037.

Six Word Memoirs: Michigan Football

The "six word memoir" is a relatively new literary development.  Its origins can be traced to Ernest Hemingway, who is rumored to have been challenged to write a story in six words.  His now-famous response is considered by some to be among his greatest works:  "For sale:  baby shoes, never worn."

Since then the genre of the six word memoir has developed.  Its objective is to distill a life story or series of events into six words.  Think of a haiku in a straight jacket, confined in a breadbox.

What follows is CTF's six word memoir of Michigan football in the modern era.  Like virtually every example of the genre, it leaves much of the story untold.

Feel free to leave a memoir of your own in the comment section using more than five words and fewer than seven.

A Biggs Pick-Up For Michigan

James "Biggs" Ross

James Ross announced his commitment to the University of Michigan this morning.  He becomes the fourth(!) linebacker out of the first eight recruits in the 2012 class, either due to cosmic coincidence or some other reason.

Of the four, Ross is arguably the most highly touted.  Notably, he is praised more for his football instincts than his physical attributes, which tends to say something about a guy whose abs are visible through his t-shirt.

This is an excellent pick-up for Michigan, and with Ross, Bolden, Jenkins-Stone, Ringer and the strong haul from last year, the linebacker position looks to be a point of strength for the Wolverines through the middle of the decade.